Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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