You can't motorboat a personality
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
