I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize