I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
