you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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