So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
