Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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