Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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