i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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