Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
