thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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