dude i'm inner monologue high
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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