You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
