i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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