I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i came on her dog
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
