i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's Friday. Sex?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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