Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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