Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
