dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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