Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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