So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
