remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She needs sedatives and a leash
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
