i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
