I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
there is another microwave in the elevator.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
