Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
