i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Randomize
