I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
