smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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