don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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