the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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