i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
