Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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