that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
