I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
