butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
