I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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