i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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