I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
