She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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