Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
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when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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