That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
