And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
3pm strippers are depressing
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
