Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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