Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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