i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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