im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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