so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So many bounce houses so little time
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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