that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize