Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I want to fling myself into the sun
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
