he thought i was a dude.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
