Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize