She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize