do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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