you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
