Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
