My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't deserve a penis
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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