You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize