she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
