I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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