Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize