ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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